I Want A Divorce
by Azkadellio
Summary: On her wedding day, Tori stands at the aisle waiting for her wife. What she sees when Jade lifts the veil makes her second guess her decision to marry the Goth.


**Random one-shot idea I got while watching the old show **_**'Fact or Faked: Urban Legends Revealed'**_** that used to be on TLC. One of the urban legends was about a bride who tanned herself at various tanning salons in a short amount of time and accidentally cooked her insides from the overuse of tanning beds.**

**Because of that urban legend, I decided to write this. This is a humorous one-shot where, after watching the same episode, Jade decides to change her skin tone in a non-lethal way for her wedding to Tori.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**'VicTORious'**_** or its characters.**

**Tori POV**

"I can't believe I'm doing this." I say with a wide smile as I stand at the small stage in the church.

Beside me, my maid of honor and sister Trina, rolls her eyes at me but smiles. "I can't believe you're doing this either." She says with a small laugh. "You're about to marry the Wicked Witch of the West and take her last name, and you're the 'husband'." She says, laughing a bit.

"She proposed. And the one who accepts is the one who changes her last name. Just because I'm the one in the tux doesn't mean anything." I say in my defense. "And can you imagine Jade with the last name 'Vega'? Especially after she's been messing with me by calling me 'Vega' for years?" I ask, laughing.

"Whatever." Trina says, waving at me dismissively. "Where's my man?" She asks, looking around the large room. A moment later, we see Beck, Trina's fiancé and my soon-to-be wife's ex-boyfriend walk down the aisle, stepping onto the stage and giving Trina a kiss as he moves to the opposite side of the stage, standing on Jade's side. "Hey." She says flirtatiously to him.

"Hey." Beck says back. "You ready?" He asks me while keeping his gaze on Trina.

"I can't wait." I say, smiling widely as Cat, Jade's maid of honor, jogs down the aisle and waits. "Hey." I tell Cat with a small smile.

"Hi hi." Cat says, seemingly more excited than me.

"Here comes the bride." I hear Andre mumble from the organ with an amused tone when we see the form of my dad, her dad refusing to show up since she's marrying a woman, at the doorway.

A moment later, he starts playing the classic song everyone expects at a wedding. I look up, slightly concerned when I see Jade, in her black wedding dress, with a dark veil hiding her face, and long gloves hiding her hands.

The ceremony goes as expected, both of us saying our vows and 'I do' when necessary. Lifting up her veil for my favorite part of the ceremony, I stop when I see her face.

Instead of her usual pale skin, a fact she knows I love about her, I see a bright, and I mean borderline fluorescent, orange.

"What. The. Fuck?" I ask, staring at her, her lips a bright red instead of blood red she told me she was thinking about, bright blue eye shadow, and again, bright orange skin.

"Don't you like my tan?" Jade asks, a hidden smirk on her face.

"I want a divorce." I say, sighing. "I'm gonna make you pay for this." I say, kissing her.

Just to mess with her, a few days after arriving home from our honeymoon, I get my dad to send me a fake paper saying I filed for divorce and sign it. I know Jade won't read it over, she'll be too pissed trying to figure out why I'm doing this, thinking I was messing with her at our wedding. I'm using that to my advantage, because if she were to read it over, I'm sure she'd notice that countless spelling and grammar errors, and a variety of other things showing that it's a fake document.

Good new? It worked. She freaked out and went off on me.

Bad news? I'm now awaiting her revenge.

Best news? Make up sex really is amazing.

**Sorry it's so short. I just wanted to get the idea out.**

**To explain Jade's skin and make up; She fake tanned with a lotion and added body paint, making it orange instead of a tanned color you would expect. The make up is just because I thought picturing Jade with make up like that was too funny.**

**Thank you for reading. Please review.**

**Blessed Be.**


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